Saturday, October 22, 2011

Upping My Game

Hi all, it's been a long time since I had a post, but I'm pretty busy.  I've been inspired to become a better me.  Last year when we got a new principal, I became inspired to become a better teacher.  She makes me want to be better, try harder, do more.  Last year I started at a nutritionist, she inspires me to eat healthier, to eat clean, to eat natural, to feel better.  This year I started with a physical trainer, he inspires me to work hard, to accept nothing less than the best, to push myself farther than I think I can go.  This year Devin was tested for reading difficulties and it inspired me to become a better mom, to step up my game, pay more attention to the details and just be more present.  Trying to be better in every aspect is very challenging, I can't help but drop a few balls here and there.

This year one big ball I dropped was in the little things, they seem little, but really they are pretty big.  Like my dad turned 60 this year and I sent him 3/4 of his present 4 months late and I still haven't finished the main part yet.  Sigh!  My mom had her birthday and I didn't even send her a card.  My nephew turned 4 and I was a month late with his gift, too.  I haven't made time to spend with my friends, get out for walks and talks, even make phone calls.  And I haven't written any letters or sent any pictures to grand-parents in a long time.  These are things I used to do and feel really good about, now it seems my priorities have changed and I am very focused on myself. 

I can't help but feel selfish, but in the same breath.... it's time I looked after myself.  I do feel good, I feel stronger, less tired, healthier, more confident... but when you are trying to be better, it never seems to stop.  Is there a point where you realize things are good enough?  I don't think so, I think that as long as you live things can improve and we can reach for more, but seriously you can't always be concentrated on that, because then you are never happy with the way things are right now.  I think balance is required.  The desire to push yourself to be better and move forward, while being happy with yourself in the now.

So, to all of you that I have let down by not sending a gift, or not making a call, I haven't forgotten you, I 've just been busy and although my actions have not shown how much I care about you, please know that I do, very much!

1 comment:

carmen16 said...

Laura, I can so relate to what you've posted. I want to be better in so many aspects of my life -- as a wife, as a Mom, as a writer, as a runner -- and be present. We do have to take care of ourselves and do what we can, Just remember, when you are taking care of you, your kids are learning that you are a priority too!